So, I talked a little about some of the things the kids have lost since making the decision to leave public school. Now it's time to talk about what they've gained!
1. Curiosity. True, they've always been curious little critters, but my kids have exploded with curiosity since being "deschooled." They question everything- how the world works, why people act the way they do, how stores and companies operate, everything about nature, space, cooking... I could go on and on! They love to have discussions, to ask questions, and to find answers.
2. Time. They now have time to explore their interests. Time has become their friend, rather than the enemy. They have tons and tons of free time to figure out what they want to do, and to cultivate these interests.
3. Love of reading. Prior to homeschooling, my kids were averse to reading. I was devastated- how could I possibly have kids that didn't love to read? I started reading young and my childhood was filled with books. I wanted that for my kids, too, but they viewed reading as a chore, another useless school task to dread. They loved being read to when they were young, and they eagerly dove into learning to read. But mandatory reading logs, book reports, etc. took away the joy. After they stopped going to school, reading became one of their favorite pastimes. Tyler is an avid reader. His comprehension and reading speed have increased tremendously. Jason is still struggling with his learning disabilities, but he's eager to read and never stops trying. Raina goes through periods where she reads a lot and then doesn't read as much (same as me!) But the main message here is that they no longer dread the written word... they've actually learned to enjoy reading.
4. Ability to learn in numerous ways. My boys play a lot of video games. A lot of video games, particularly in the winter. Some people (people who don't understand our process of learning) think that's all they do. And sometimes it feels like they are spending too much time on their computers or playing video games. But then I remind myself that computer/video games have evolved immensely since I was a kid. Gone are the days of moving a 2D character across the screen. Today's games incorporate map reading, history (especially weaponry, historical society, etc.), class structure, commerce, mathematical reasoning, trade, critical thinking, reading, and so much more. I'm often stunned when my boys demonstrate knowledge about something I don't remember exposing them to, only to find out they learned it while playing Runescape or World of Warcraft. And when my kids are given fairly unlimited time to play the games they want to play, they eventually get tired of what they are doing and move on to something else. My kids spend tons of time playing outside (last summer their favorite activity was playing Survivorman, modeled after the Discovery show.) They like to play games (yes, even the educational ones.) They enjoy field trips to the Museum of Science, the zoo, the aquarium, living history museums, the ocean, hiking in the woods, and just about any place I drag them out to. (And the vast majority of the time, they leave their computers without too much distress.) Chemistry experiments in the kitchen are favorite activities. We read together, from history books (the interesting ones, not the text books), science books, interesting fiction. If I come across an article online that I find interesting, I read it to the kids and we discuss it. If they are curious about something, we discuss it, and if I don't know enough about it, we research it. There are so many ways to learn, and none of the ways we choose have anything to do with a workbook. (Of course, the other night Tyler pulled out a Spanish work book that I bought him a year ago, per his request. He did 20 pages in it. Did I mention this was at 10pm? His choice!)
5. Confidence. Sure, they have moments of insecurity. (Don't we all?) But all of my children walk with their shoulders back, their heads up, ready to try the next new thing. They are fearless. If someone criticizes them, they deal with it and move on. Raina, a young teenager, loves to be social, but follows her own rules. They have a good, strong sense of right and wrong, and though they make mistakes, they are aware of their principals.
6. Ability to make mistakes. This is a big one for me. My kids have always feared making mistakes, despite my assurances that in order to learn, they had to make mistakes. I've spent a great deal of time pointing out the good things that come from mistakes. We've studied various scientists and explorers who made mistakes that turned out well. I've pointed out when I've made mistakes, and how it hasn't been horrible. They are learning that some mistakes require some reparations, and others are opportunities to keep trying until we accomplish what we wanted. Still others show us something new that we may not have known, or help us to learn in a more concrete way.
7. Effective use of resources. When we first started homeschooling, I poured a lot of money into what I thought we had to have. (Expensive books! Schooly type materials! Expensive educational programs!) We've since figured out that we can utilize the library (we LOVE inter-library loans!), Netflix, online sources (do you know how many FREE programs are out there for learning? Anything you want to learn, you can find videos, games, curriculum for. Did I mention there's a ton of it... FREE?) Nature hikes teach us a ton. The internet is truly a homeschooler's best friend. Cable tv has its uses, too. Documentaries, educational programming, news stories, OH MY! We have maps on the walls, we travel in our car (best way to learn geography!) and we keep our minds open. How's THAT for a resource?
8. Leadership. My kids come to work with me at my part time job at the Recreation Department, where I teach toddler classes. They have grown so much in their abilities to interact with young children in a positive, mentoring fashion. Each one of them is able to act as an assistant teacher when they want to. They can set up activities, clean up after art, snack, and free play, guide the children in appropriate play, read to the kids, model pro-social behavior, and entertain the children. The young kids look up to these "big kids," and that admiration fuels their self-esteem. At home, my kids love to learn how to cook, and love to be included in decision making. They are young leaders in the making. Yes, someday my kids will rule the world. ;)
9. Ability to think outside of the box. The way my kids think blows me away. The questions they ask are so intelligent, the thoughts they have are extraordinary. (Yeah, I know. Everyone thinks their kids are extraordinary.) I encourage them to think of numerous points of view in every situation, to think of different ways of solving problems. They never let me down in the thinking department.
I'm going to stop here for now, not because this is a comprehensive list, but because things are chaotic here and it's hard to focus. (Life is happening all around me, demanding my attention!)
I'll be posting more in the future.
Keep learning!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Comparing and Contrasting
Here's a little anecdote from our field trip to Mystic Aquarium in CT.
It's school vacation week, so the place is packed with families taking advantage of the time off to have some family fun. Each of my kids brought a friend, and we had a great day.
The aquarium had some "fun centers" set up, in celebration of "Bite Week." They had whale teeth, shark jaws, and fake coral reefs to explore. Most of the kids came over out of curiosity, took a quick glance, fought to play the game they had set up, then moved on to the next thing.
Not my kids.
Jason picked up the two whale teeth (from different types of whales), and declared that he wanted to compare them. He then examined them closely, turned them over in his hands, making connections and - gasp- learning! He asked a multitude of questions, which seemed to delight the staff member at the table. (Finally, he had an audience to demonstrate his knowledge!) Eventually, Jason was asking questions that the staff member didn't know the answers to, so it was time to move on.
Just another small example of learning in the real world. (He also had tons of questions at the touch tank, and got his own "hands on" lesson from the staff member over there on how best to pick up a crab.)
It's school vacation week, so the place is packed with families taking advantage of the time off to have some family fun. Each of my kids brought a friend, and we had a great day.
The aquarium had some "fun centers" set up, in celebration of "Bite Week." They had whale teeth, shark jaws, and fake coral reefs to explore. Most of the kids came over out of curiosity, took a quick glance, fought to play the game they had set up, then moved on to the next thing.
Not my kids.
Jason picked up the two whale teeth (from different types of whales), and declared that he wanted to compare them. He then examined them closely, turned them over in his hands, making connections and - gasp- learning! He asked a multitude of questions, which seemed to delight the staff member at the table. (Finally, he had an audience to demonstrate his knowledge!) Eventually, Jason was asking questions that the staff member didn't know the answers to, so it was time to move on.
Just another small example of learning in the real world. (He also had tons of questions at the touch tank, and got his own "hands on" lesson from the staff member over there on how best to pick up a crab.)
What They've Lost
Our decision to homeschool was an unexpected one. The biggest doubter in the world was me. I never dreamed of homeschooling my children. I've always been committed to public schooling, and couldn't wait to go shopping for the Back to School clothes and supplies, yearned for my opportunity to volunteer in the classroom, was excited by the very thought of attending Parent/Teacher conferences. I loved the thought of packing lunches, helping with homework, and engaging the children in our morning routines. If you had asked me if I would ever consider homeschooling, I would have laughed and told you you were crazy.
Fast forward to 2010, when not only am I homeschooling all 3 of my children (by their choice, no less!), but I am a huge advocate of this educational plan. And not only are we homeschooling, but we have evolved to being very laid back homeschoolers. We don't follow a specific curriculum, we don't sit at the table doing worksheets, and there is no chalkboard in sight. Despite wanting to be a public school teacher all my life (just ask my little sister how I used to demand that my mom make her play school with me), I have found that the best way to educate my kids is the organic way.
There are some doubters in my family. Everyone seems to understand why homeschooling my middle son is a great choice- school is simply not designed to meet his special needs. But there are some who can't understand why I would allow the other two kids, who are average to above average achievers, to "drop out of school." So this post is going to address the things my children have lost by leaving school, and what the future might look like for them.
Things They've Lost
1. Stress. My children exhibit far fewer signs of stress than they did while in school. They still experience stress in our everyday lives, but they are able to manage it better since their attention is not pulled in twenty thousand directions.
2. Pressure. This kind of goes along with the "stress" piece, but it's such a huge loss to my kids, that I wanted to give it its own section. My children put a lot of pressure on themselves to succeed, to be perfectionists, to never make mistakes. While some of this can be good for overall lifelong success, too much pressure is detrimental to their self-esteem and to their ability to sustain the "perfection." Schools inadvertently force the kids to feel pressure. From day one, they are warned that "this is an MCAS year." They are pressured to do things they don't want to do (including learning things they are not ready or willing to learn yet). They are pressured into fitting into a box that isn't made for them. (Sort of like the stepsisters mutilating their feet in order to fit into Cinderella's slippers, only this is school induced. If the kids don't fit in the box, we as a society are supposed to chop and mold them until they do fit.) Pressure to be just like everyone else.
3. Boredom. Okay, I admit it. They still get bored. But now they have the power to do something about it! Would you want to choose a career where you are forced to sit in a room with people you may not really like, doing mindless tasks that you may not want to do, all the time, with no power to change it? I know there are many in this world who have chosen this path for themselves, but "chosen" is the key word. What say do our kids have? I want my kids to know that they can choose the path they take in life- so why not start now? Boredom serves a purpose- a challenge for your mind to find ways to engage. But the boredom they experienced in school was a hopeless, sad boredom. And they've lost it.
4. Bullying. Yeah, yeah, they have each other to bully, but somehow it seems less damaging than what goes on in schools. My kids were lucky enough to have never been subjected to bullying directly, but they were witnesses to it, and more than likely would have become either bullied or the bullies at some point during their school careers. We still deal with the online bullying component, but we're able to address it and learn from it directly. Anyone who tells you that kids "need" to deal with bullying in order to live in the "real" world is fooling you. Having a damaged self-esteem (no matter which side of the bullying a child falls on) in no way prepares you for life in the real world. When we run into bullying situations with other kids at parks, etc. we are able to deal with it, and the kids have the choice to not play near or with those kids. But how do they escape it in school?
5. The need to wake up early. No longer do I have to drag them, groggy eyed and cranky, out of bed in the morning. They wake when they are ready to wake, unless we have to go someplace. (Isn't this also how things work in the "real" world?) They do come to work with me two or more days per week, so they understand the need to get up to go to work. We need to remember that kids and teens, in particular, have different sleep schedules. I believe in honoring them. I have always believed that high schools should start later (afternoon to evening, rather than morning to afternoon), in order to allow kids to get the sleep they need. My daughter thrives on being able to follow her body's natural sleep/wake cycles.
6. Busy work. We get a lot of flack from people who don't understand how my kids can possibly learn without workbooks and text books. I challenge you to think of anything you've ever learned from a workbook? And text books are notoriously boring and lack the depth needed to truly learn a subject. So do I choose these for my kids? Nope. We do have workbooks laying around that they pick up on occasion, but I can't say they learn from them. They learn from living and experiencing the real world.
7. Anxiety. No more panic because they are nervous about doing the work the "right" way. No more fear that they'll be in trouble for having to go to the bathroom too many times, or for forgetting to bring their signed reading log. Kids have so much to deal with on a daily basis to begin with. I'm so happy they don't have to experience anxiety about things that are unimportant.
8. Fear of learning. Prior to homeschooling, my kids thought "learning" and "educational" were bad words. They would visibly cringe if I uttered those words. After months and months and months of having to hide our learning in fun activities, then pointing out to them that they were indeed learning, they are finally firm members of the "learning is fun" club. They know the value of learning through experience, of hands on, tactile exploration. They willingly watch educational dvds, the Science Channel, National Geographic, and Animal Planet are on our favorite channel lists, and they never fear asking questions about something they don't yet understand. They know that learning is life long, and when they are ready to learn something, they know exactly how to do it.
9. The need for learning to occur in a classroom. One of my favorite things to do is to take the kids on field trips. I absolutely love standing in the spring sunshine at Sturbridge Village, while the kids and I are deeply engaged in learning about life in colonial times. I can't accurately describe the look of relief on their faces when I say, "boy, this sure beats sitting in a classroom, doesn't it?" The fact is, school kids are given lots and lots of facts and information. Some of them are able to show their knowledge by acing a test or for writing a good research paper. Some are never able to succeed in school, but are able to go out and learn in the real world the things they failed to learn in school. Our school day does not end at 3pm. We don't have vacations from learning, we don't take snow days off. We learn year round, every minute. Our learning does not always look like learning to an outsider, but the knowledge these children are gaining shows itself in the most perfect moments, the way a bud emerges on a tree at just the right time and with exactly the right skill.
The one thing my kids and I have learned is that learning is not something that happens passively with someone telling you things. It's something that grows inside you, that you nurture and care for, and that fills you with joy and peace and knowledge. We have lost the strict adherence to society's rules of what we need to know and the arbitrary guidelines of when we should know it. Instead, we follow our own leads, down paths we didn't know we'd explore. And the beauty of those paths is undeniable.
Fast forward to 2010, when not only am I homeschooling all 3 of my children (by their choice, no less!), but I am a huge advocate of this educational plan. And not only are we homeschooling, but we have evolved to being very laid back homeschoolers. We don't follow a specific curriculum, we don't sit at the table doing worksheets, and there is no chalkboard in sight. Despite wanting to be a public school teacher all my life (just ask my little sister how I used to demand that my mom make her play school with me), I have found that the best way to educate my kids is the organic way.
There are some doubters in my family. Everyone seems to understand why homeschooling my middle son is a great choice- school is simply not designed to meet his special needs. But there are some who can't understand why I would allow the other two kids, who are average to above average achievers, to "drop out of school." So this post is going to address the things my children have lost by leaving school, and what the future might look like for them.
Things They've Lost
1. Stress. My children exhibit far fewer signs of stress than they did while in school. They still experience stress in our everyday lives, but they are able to manage it better since their attention is not pulled in twenty thousand directions.
2. Pressure. This kind of goes along with the "stress" piece, but it's such a huge loss to my kids, that I wanted to give it its own section. My children put a lot of pressure on themselves to succeed, to be perfectionists, to never make mistakes. While some of this can be good for overall lifelong success, too much pressure is detrimental to their self-esteem and to their ability to sustain the "perfection." Schools inadvertently force the kids to feel pressure. From day one, they are warned that "this is an MCAS year." They are pressured to do things they don't want to do (including learning things they are not ready or willing to learn yet). They are pressured into fitting into a box that isn't made for them. (Sort of like the stepsisters mutilating their feet in order to fit into Cinderella's slippers, only this is school induced. If the kids don't fit in the box, we as a society are supposed to chop and mold them until they do fit.) Pressure to be just like everyone else.
3. Boredom. Okay, I admit it. They still get bored. But now they have the power to do something about it! Would you want to choose a career where you are forced to sit in a room with people you may not really like, doing mindless tasks that you may not want to do, all the time, with no power to change it? I know there are many in this world who have chosen this path for themselves, but "chosen" is the key word. What say do our kids have? I want my kids to know that they can choose the path they take in life- so why not start now? Boredom serves a purpose- a challenge for your mind to find ways to engage. But the boredom they experienced in school was a hopeless, sad boredom. And they've lost it.
4. Bullying. Yeah, yeah, they have each other to bully, but somehow it seems less damaging than what goes on in schools. My kids were lucky enough to have never been subjected to bullying directly, but they were witnesses to it, and more than likely would have become either bullied or the bullies at some point during their school careers. We still deal with the online bullying component, but we're able to address it and learn from it directly. Anyone who tells you that kids "need" to deal with bullying in order to live in the "real" world is fooling you. Having a damaged self-esteem (no matter which side of the bullying a child falls on) in no way prepares you for life in the real world. When we run into bullying situations with other kids at parks, etc. we are able to deal with it, and the kids have the choice to not play near or with those kids. But how do they escape it in school?
5. The need to wake up early. No longer do I have to drag them, groggy eyed and cranky, out of bed in the morning. They wake when they are ready to wake, unless we have to go someplace. (Isn't this also how things work in the "real" world?) They do come to work with me two or more days per week, so they understand the need to get up to go to work. We need to remember that kids and teens, in particular, have different sleep schedules. I believe in honoring them. I have always believed that high schools should start later (afternoon to evening, rather than morning to afternoon), in order to allow kids to get the sleep they need. My daughter thrives on being able to follow her body's natural sleep/wake cycles.
6. Busy work. We get a lot of flack from people who don't understand how my kids can possibly learn without workbooks and text books. I challenge you to think of anything you've ever learned from a workbook? And text books are notoriously boring and lack the depth needed to truly learn a subject. So do I choose these for my kids? Nope. We do have workbooks laying around that they pick up on occasion, but I can't say they learn from them. They learn from living and experiencing the real world.
7. Anxiety. No more panic because they are nervous about doing the work the "right" way. No more fear that they'll be in trouble for having to go to the bathroom too many times, or for forgetting to bring their signed reading log. Kids have so much to deal with on a daily basis to begin with. I'm so happy they don't have to experience anxiety about things that are unimportant.
8. Fear of learning. Prior to homeschooling, my kids thought "learning" and "educational" were bad words. They would visibly cringe if I uttered those words. After months and months and months of having to hide our learning in fun activities, then pointing out to them that they were indeed learning, they are finally firm members of the "learning is fun" club. They know the value of learning through experience, of hands on, tactile exploration. They willingly watch educational dvds, the Science Channel, National Geographic, and Animal Planet are on our favorite channel lists, and they never fear asking questions about something they don't yet understand. They know that learning is life long, and when they are ready to learn something, they know exactly how to do it.
9. The need for learning to occur in a classroom. One of my favorite things to do is to take the kids on field trips. I absolutely love standing in the spring sunshine at Sturbridge Village, while the kids and I are deeply engaged in learning about life in colonial times. I can't accurately describe the look of relief on their faces when I say, "boy, this sure beats sitting in a classroom, doesn't it?" The fact is, school kids are given lots and lots of facts and information. Some of them are able to show their knowledge by acing a test or for writing a good research paper. Some are never able to succeed in school, but are able to go out and learn in the real world the things they failed to learn in school. Our school day does not end at 3pm. We don't have vacations from learning, we don't take snow days off. We learn year round, every minute. Our learning does not always look like learning to an outsider, but the knowledge these children are gaining shows itself in the most perfect moments, the way a bud emerges on a tree at just the right time and with exactly the right skill.
The one thing my kids and I have learned is that learning is not something that happens passively with someone telling you things. It's something that grows inside you, that you nurture and care for, and that fills you with joy and peace and knowledge. We have lost the strict adherence to society's rules of what we need to know and the arbitrary guidelines of when we should know it. Instead, we follow our own leads, down paths we didn't know we'd explore. And the beauty of those paths is undeniable.
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